Testimony from Patt (now Mrs Lim)

I went for the first Alpha TPMC with much mixed emotions and thoughts.

Thoughts were mostly focused on 3 main topics:

1) Have I just signed up for a course that will just keep sprouting bible verses and evangelism at us for 2 hours per session over 7 weeks?? Or just extra nagging from parent-type people?

2) Who are these people who dare to tell me how to work my absolutely unique relationship? How can anything they say be more than just utterly obvious self-help propaganda? e.g. Buy Low, Sell High - that's the winning formula!

3) ....can this course actually help? 

Answers are (thankfully):

1) No. Everyone was quite tactful and there were no odd, out-of-place, fiery religious comments. There were no lectures, no nagging (despite some obvious reining in at times :) Neutral is a good word to describe the course. 

2) They didn't tell us how to work our relationships! Subjects were brought up and examples of how they were dealt with were shortly discussed - then short private discussion between the 2 of us would commence. It was (again thankfully) not even vaguely like Show and Tell forced sharing. Q&A time was open, and again, neutral.

3) Yes it most definitely did. How much did it help? Dunno - its hard to quantify.

However, it wasn't smooth sailing all the way - having to discuss some sensitive subjects ahead of time was odd, because there were arguments about things that haven't happened yet! Eg: are our children going to go to private or public schools? Chinese or Govt schools?

  
What was the top 3 top things from TPMC for us?

• Our continual relationship with our support couple
  
• Learning how to discuss issues without taking it personally
  
• Having been provided a Rough Guide to our lives ahead together - what could happen, what we could do...and what might not be a good idea to say or do in certain situations ;)

 
In retrospect - I just had quite a lot of fun during those 7 weeks. We are not quite sure what it was exactly that makes me remember it that way as those 7 weeks were peppered with some rather vocal discussions which would have been easier avoided (at that point of time) - but now - about 1.5 years after the course - thinking about TPMC just makes me laugh and bubble over with and enthusiastic

"Yea man - go for it!"
  
Caution: This is just me. Even my hubby has a different point of view/experience :)

Testimony from Dennis & Joelyn

We were introduced to this course by our Mentor Couple, Mr & Mrs Lee Voon Siong. We have been meeting up with them on a monthly or bimonthly basis even before we attended this course. 

Initially we were slightly skeptical and a little unsure whether would the course fit us as we are not engaged yet but we did have thoughts of getting married soon. However, Uncle Voon Siong told us that as long as we have marriage on our minds, it would be ok to attend this course. Based on the explanation that Uncle Voon Siong gave about this course, we felt that we would be able to benefit very much from it too. 

He also advised us that attending the course earlier would give us more time to grow in the areas that are weak. 

Hence, despite the distance and having to travel back and forth to JB on a weekly basis, we figured that this is an investment that is worthwhile since its for the joy and happiness of our marriage in the future. It has also given us a good reason for us to travel up weekly to visit Dennis’ parents and spend some time shopping in KL. He He.. 

  

Though the traveling did wear us out in the later part of the course but we certainly felt that we’ve benefited very much from the course. The real life experiences shared by Nick and Sila, the video sofa couples and the live sofa couples has shown us that the problems that we face are not unique to us but common in every relationship. The only difference was that they were more equipped with tools to use when the relationship hits a hard patch. 

  

From this course, we’ve manage to find out the weakness that we face. We’ve also used the tools provided and it certainly proved to be effective. It is not easy since it’s a new discipline for us to learn to put into practice. 

  

We’ve also felt that our meetings with our support couple are more guided and structured since they have now know in exact the weakness of our relationship through the PREPARE questionnaire. Me and my partner concurred that the results are very accurate. With this as a guideline, our support couple are now able to focus directly to our weakness and seek to improve those areas. We are also more conscious of these areas of growth and have since tried to strengthen it in our relationship. 

  

We would indeed certainly agree that this course is a must for all couples who are planning to get married. We’ve never regret attending this course and even with the traveling, we feel that its worth the effort!




Blessings,

Dennis & Joelyn
May 2009

The Marriage and Family Life Conference 26 & 27 Oct 2009

If....

- you are serious about being involved and helping young couples in their journey to the Big Day.

- you are passionate about building strong marriages in your community.

- you believe that young people and young families are an important pillar of your country.

Come and join us for a two day journey to equip those like minded people to lead The Marriage Course and The Marriage Preparation Course.

Nicky and Sila will be here in Malaysia to teach and share from their wealth of experiences.

Location: Dream Center, Damansara Utama Methodist Church, Selangor, Malaysia

Date: 27-27 Oct 2009

For more details please contact Alpha at:

Email: info@my.alpha.org

Tel: +603-2698 8200

If you have problem with the above for whatever reason, please write to me lautianchen@gmail.com . I will try to refer you to the correct person.

TMPC run 2 Graduation Party

We organise a Graduation Party at the end of every course. Participants are encouraged to invite their parents or close friends to this party. Objective of the party:

- Celebrate and acknowledge their committment to start well so that their marriage will be strong.

- Recap and review all the lessons learnt and applied over the past 6 weeks.

- Party and makan. 

Support Couple Fellowship

Beside the afternoon sessions where participants go through video based lessons plus exercises together as couples,  we also allocate private sessions with counsellors whom we refer to as Support Couples. 

As part of the course, every participating couples will be invited to their support couples' home for 3 private one to one session.  (dinners thrown in most of the time!!)

We take this very seriously. In order to make sure that we add value into your relationship, the support couples meet together regularly for trainings, updates and learning sessions.

TMPC 4 - Jul/Aug 2009 Dates, time, venue and cost

TMPC Sessions

1) Introductory and profiling: Saturday 18th July

2) Communication: Saturday 25th July

3) Commitment: Saturday 1st August

4) Resolving Conflict: Saturday 8th August

5) Keeping Love Alive: Saturday 15th August

6) Shared Goals followed by Graduation Party: Saturday 22nd August

Session times:

For all the sessions: 3pm-6pm
Graduation party: 730pm-10pm

Venue:

Trainworks Corp Sdn Bhd
22-3 Jalan PJU 8/3A
Bandar Damansara Perdana
47820 Petaling Jaya

Investment per couple: RM390/couple

FOR MORE DETAILS PLEASE CONTACT:

Family Development Administrator
ALPHA Malaysia
1st Floor, Bangunan Yeoh,
35th-37th Jalan Kamunting,
Kuala Lumpur 50300
Tel: 03-2698 8200
Fax: 03-2698 8300

You can also contact TC Lau at lautianchen@gmail.com

What is THE MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE (TMPC)

What is The Marriage Preparation Course?

The Marriage Preparation Course is for any engaged couple who wants to develop strong foundations for a lasting marriage.

Over 6 afternoons spent together you will learn important tools that will enable you to make your marriage works.

You will look at:

• How to recognize and appreciate your differences
  
• The art of communication
  
• The importance of commitment
  
• Resolving conflict
  
• Spending time together
  
• Nurturing your friendship
  
• Making each other feel loved
  
• Developing a good sexual relationship
  
• The importance of talking about your goals, value and dreams

Beside the afternoon video based sessions, you will be allocated a support couple who will meet up with both of you in their home to help you work through some issues that you would like to talk about. There will be three of such evening sessions.

Who is it for?

It is for any engaged couple who wants to have the best possible start to their marriage. The course, while based on Christian principles, is very helpful and relevant for any couple with or without Christian faith or church background

What’s involved?

The sessions are very relaxed. There is light refreshment followed by short talks interspersed with exercises and questions for you to discuss together as a couple. Before the first evening you and your fiancé(e) will be asked to fill in a questionnaire which is confidential and designed to help you learn more about yourselves and your relationship. You will then be given the opportunity to discuss these issues with a support couple if you wish.


Who is it for?

It is for any engaged couple who wants to have the best possible start to their marriage. The course, while based on Christian principles, is very helpful and relevant for any couple with or without Christian faith or church background.